Confessions of a closet film-maker

About three months ago I read a short script on Zoetrope.com by a guy called Vincent. I was sitting at the dining room table downstairs on a weekend trip home from Reading and as I read the script I giggled and snarfed and guffawed like a maniac.

Vince wanted to cut the script by nearly a half, so I got my editorial head on and offered to take the red pen to it. Since then, he’s reviewed my first feature length script and a short, I’ve read his half-finished novel, and we’ve generally spent a lot of time discussing plot points, characterisation, writing and other stuff that tends to make our respective friends glaze over.

We’ve also discussed at length the making of this short film, currently known by the title Nothing Travels Faster Than Bad News. After three months of repeated offers to help out any which way I can, Vince finally caved in and has made me Co-Producer. (Foolish man!)

If you’re not a film buff and are wondering what a producer does, well, don’t worry – so did I. Basically, though, a producer organises everything from the casting to the locations to the sandwiches and cups of tea. The director (that’d be Vince) is the guy that actually tells the actors what to do.

Now, I was born with a notepad and pen in my hand, and a list of things to do at birth already written out: 1. learn to breath air, 2. scream a lot, 3. wriggle. I make lists the way other people make cups of tea (and I make cups of tea the way other people make… well, name an undrinkable liquid of your choice and you’ve got it).

So, the last few weeks, I’ve been making lists – characters we need to cast, locations we need to find, props and which locations they need to be in… I’ve started looking for music that we can use, cheap alternatives to hiring lights, digital mics. (Ok, well, I’m still looking for the mic.)

I’m on an elephant, I can tell you. Er, I mean, in my element. Most days it’s a struggle to actually get down to the tedious chores I ought to be doing instead of going through the script one more time, or making more lists of things to do. I could do this for a living, if someone paid me for it.

We’ve started casting now and have some locations almost sorted, so I feel as if we’ve begun to make some real progress in turning this film from ‘something we’re going to do’ into ‘something we’re doing’. Vince is story-boarding and tweaking the script, and I’m nagging his and my friends into helping out one way or the other.

(And if you fall into either of those categories and you want to help, let me know!)

I’ll keep you all up to date here as to what’s happening, but I’ve also started the Bad News Blog which both Vince and I can update. The character biographies and location list are both there already and we’ll be adding more info and news as and when we have it.

We expect to start shooting in the first quarter of 2004, and although there’s a very long way to go before we’re done I can't help but be excited by the challenge of doing something so new and different. I’ve started a new category on this blog now and I feel really quite chuffed to say that I am indeed making movies.