Yes, that's right. It's Eurovision night. Currently some Spanish-sounding chap is wailing like a banshee with a red hot poker up the jacksie. Sadly, I don't have control over the remote so I fear I am destined to suffer until… oh no… it doesn't finish until gone 11pm.
*kills self*
Please, gods, someone put them out of my misery, for the sake of all that's aural. Otherwise I will have to go and lie in the bath with my ears under the water 'til it's all over, and you wouldn't want my delicate skin to prune, would you now?
Oh no, that time of year again
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3M ear-plugs, m'dear…
Never could get on with ear plugs.
Ukraine won, did you see? Er, um… ok, yes, I watched it. Happy now?
Hey, at least you've got Terry Wogan. I watched it on BBC, and he made the whole thing remotely bearable. Our commentators are even worse than the songs. And Austria deservedly didn't make it beyond position 21. It's so pathetic.
Yes, it's true, Terry's humour does make the block voting and the blatant politics just about bearable. Although even he was sounding annoyed this year. I've heard him take the piss quite subtantially in previous years, but never heard him call it a 'farce' before.
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