Yes, that's right. It's Eurovision night. Currently some Spanish-sounding chap is wailing like a banshee with a red hot poker up the jacksie. Sadly, I don't have control over the remote so I fear I am destined to suffer until… oh no… it doesn't finish until gone 11pm.
*kills self*
Please, gods, someone put them out of my misery, for the sake of all that's aural. Otherwise I will have to go and lie in the bath with my ears under the water 'til it's all over, and you wouldn't want my delicate skin to prune, would you now?
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