Friday, January 21, 2005

Lessons learnt

by Suw on January 21, 2005

Cold, real cold of the minus several billion degrees C variety, is something you have to experience before you learn those little lessons that make the difference between surviving and surviving in slightly less discomfort.
Lesson 1
Cold dry air causes static. If you have long, fine hair which is prone to static, have it shorn off before you leave and wear only natural fibre. Otherwise it will rapidly become so static that it will actually zap your own face. You will, in fact, build up such a store of electricity that any attempt at friendly kiss will result in a discharge of several million volts into the nose of your boyfriend.
Lesson 2
Do not hold the piece of paper upon which are written the directions to the bar where you are meeting friends between your lips whilst doing up your coat. Because when you remove that piece of paper, it will remove half the skin from your lips to which it froze on contact.
Lesson 3
Moisturise. Because most of your skin will attempt to separate itself from your body within seconds of you going outside. It's like full-body dandruff. If moisturising doesn't work, try glue.
Lesson 4
Just because it's minus a gazillion outside does not mean that it's going to be warm and toasty inside. Cheapo hotels are cheap because they don't heat the rooms up very much. Bring your own hot water bottle, or boyfriend, for heating purposes.
Lesson 5
When a cheap hotel advertises 'wifi' it means they have a hotspot in the lobby about two foot square. In the rooms it's ethernet, if you're lucky. And there's no room service. Ok, that has nothing to do with the cold. Bite me.
Having a great time though. Even left the hotel today to meet up with Stowe, Hylton and Jeannie – good evening out, cold walk home.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }