March 2007

The unholy bureaucracy

by Suw on March 25, 2007

It's fairly obvious to anyone with half a wit that organising a wedding is a relatively involved thing. You are, after all, organising an event for some 60 – 100 guests, (or more… or less), and that takes a bit of doing. But one thing no one really needs is complications, yet there are complications galore. And I'm not talking about the wrinkles introduced by marrying one of them thar dratted furriners.
Nope, what's turning out to be a right unholy mess is the fact that we want a mixed atheist/Christian wedding and in the UK, you can either have a religious ceremony in a church, or you can have a non-religious civil ceremony in an approved venue, but by God, never the twain shall meet. Oh no, you can't have a slightly-religious ceremony in a civil venue – that's not allowed. And whilst apparently you can add to your vows, individual registrars get the final say on what is said.
I have to say, I am a little dumbfounded. Kevin and I want a ceremony that really means something to both of us, but the fact that I am strongly atheist does mean that a church wedding would be inappropriate. Yet I want Kevin to have a ceremony that respects his beliefs, so a fully civil ceremony is also inappropriate. We want to meet half-way, but the State seems unlikely to let us – WebWedding.co.uk says “Legal civil ceremonies must be non-religious in content, so cannot include hymns, religious readings or prayers.” Does this mean he can't invoke God in his vows?
If the level of control of what can and can't be said in a civil ceremony includes the prohibition of the word 'God', then I find that to be an interference too far. In fact, it's bordering on fascistic, and that's not a term I bandy about lightly. I accept that certain criteria should be set down by law and met by couples marrying to ensure that the marriage is a true legally binding agreement entered into openly and with due solemnity by each party, but this stark prohibition seems to me to be going too far.
Of course, we could have a humanist wedding, or even a ceremony totally of our own devising, but that isn't legally recognised in England and Wales, (it is in Scotland), so we'd have to do the legal bit the day before in a registry office. It's absurd that, in this third millennium, we're not a bit more tolerant and forgiving of different viewpoints, and the fact that sometimes atheists and Christians fall in love and want to do things in a way that respects each other's beliefs.
We're going to have to talk to a proper registrar about what is and isn't possible, but I'm not holding out much hope.

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Hah!

by Suw on March 25, 2007

I win!

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Introducing Fresh Lime Soda

by Suw on March 22, 2007

As you might have noticed, Stephanie Booth and I have been doing a sporadic podcast, managing to produce an episode roughly once a month. Well, we're happy to announce that we've now both got a name and a new domain for it: Fresh Lime Soda. There you'll find the show notes and you can listen to (or download) the podcast itself. We've done three episodes so far:

Steph has also set up a FeedBurner RSS/atom feed, or you can subscribe through iTunes. Let us know what you think!

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TFL do a redesign

by Suw on March 21, 2007

Wow! Transport for London have done a redesign of their site, removing the annoying ticker and replacing their hideous old site with a nice, sleek new one. I have to say, so far, it's a much nicer user experience. Bizarrely, if you go to www.tfl.gov.uk, the site says it's down for maintenance, yet without the www it works just fine.
It even works better on a mobile phone than the old version, which is really what you want if you live in London and own a smartphone. Not that it couldn't do with a bit more optimisation for a mobile browser, though, but at least it's usable.

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Monday night, friend and engagement ring developer, er, I mean jeweller Nigel Lowe came round to have a chat about the silver model he made for us and which I've been wearing nonstop since Feb 15th. It's been great to have the model, to be able to get used to it and make sure it was the right size (which it is), even if it has been slightly odd wearing a very simple version of the ring with no stones in it – when one of my friends saw it, he didn't realise it was a model and tactfully said, “That's very subtle!”
Nigel and I discussed the changes he'll make to the design – including bringing the stone in slightly closer together and making it a bit less blocky and more curvy – and the detail of the decoration he'll add. He's taken the model and the stones back to his workshop in France and next week he'll have the actual ring cast in white gold. It will then be a matter of finishing the fine detail and setting the stones.
It's all very exciting! Kevin's friend Karina, who is Nigel's partner, will be going over to France after Easter and hopefully will bring back the finished ring with her. I don't know if it'll be ready in time for my birthday, but I'm hoping it will arrive not soon after.

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Who wants to be my plus one?

by Suw on March 15, 2007

The Open Rights Group are having a party, and you're invited! There'll be public domain DJs, 'remixed visuals' (I'm not quite sure what they are, but I'm sure they'll look nice), free culture goodie bags and a special guest speaker. And it's free!
The catch? You have to bring a new ORG supporter – someone you think might like to support ORG with a monthly donation of just five pounds. So, who wants to be my plus one… or two… or three? If you can't make it on the night, then you can always sign up online – that'll do just as well!

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Sunshine

by Suw on March 15, 2007

Last Friday I had the good fortune to be invited to see Sunshine, Danny Boyle and Alex Garland's new movie, along with a bunch of other bloggers and film website reviewers. We have been asked not to officially review the film, because there are still press previews to be done and they didn't want piss off the journalists. So this isn't a review, even if it might at some points seem like one.
I had no idea what Sunshine was about before I turned up, despite the fact that I've known that Gia Milinovich was working on the official website for months and months. I hadn't even seen the trailer.

I'm not quite sure what I expected, to be honest, but what I got was a beautifully shot film. The golden colours are gorgeous, as are the shots of the sun, some of which I've been told are real. It's quite amazing to sit and watch images of the sun fill the screen in front of you, this huge enormous ball of seething fire, writhing and boiling in all its white and golden glory. That alone is breathtaking, but the contrast between the brilliance of the sun and the black coldness of space serves well to make both seem so much more fearsome.

Sunshine concerns the mission of the Icarus II, Earth's last best hope of salvation. The Sun is dying, and with it the Earth – now a hostile icy place. The Icarus I was sent seven years previously to deliver a bomb to restart the Sun, but when it fails the global community gathers together the last reserves of fissile material to create Icarus II upon which the fate of mankind rests. The eight astronauts' voyage goes well until Harvey, the ship's communications officer, hears the distress beacon from the Icarus I which is now drifting in space inside the 'dead zone' from which no signals can be sent to or received from Earth.
At this point, things all start to unravel.
One of the best bits about Sunshine, other than the fact that it's one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen, is the sound design. It's just amazing. It reminds me of how it used to feel to play bass guitar with a really good amp and speaker set-up. The bass just reverberates through you, it connects with you in a very physical way, from heel to sternum, and feeling the sound like that changes the way you hear it.
When you combine the almost overwhelmingly intense look of the film with some incredibly powerful sound design, you end up with something that is a bit like being thumped in the chest. If I'm honest, I found the tension almost too much – I'm not very good at dealing with tension in films, primarily because I'm squeamish so at any sort of a hint that there may be violence I get scared and want to hide behind a cushion. Of course, there were no cushions so I hid under my coat instead.
As for the acting, well, Cillian Murphy dominates any film he's in, if only because he has those amazingly blue eyes that just seem to bore right through me. But the whole cast of Sunshine is strong, no one really hits a bum note, and there's a great group chemistry that's often lacking from ensemble pieces. Equally, whilst Cillian's Capa – the physicist who is the only person who truly understands how the bomb works – is central, he doesn't overshadow the other characters. I particularly liked the ship's engineer, Mace, played by Chris Evans, who is possibly the only one with a clear character arc and who gets to have fun with redemption.
But if Sunshine has a flaw, it's that it doesn't really know what it's trying to be, weaving from genre to genre in a slightly unsatisfactory way. It starts of as a standard sci-fi, thence develops into disaster movie, then on to a psycho-drama, a slasher flick, a running man flick until finally the hero triumphs. There are big dollops of 2001: A Space Odessy, of Solaris, of Event Horizon (I'm told – haven't seen that one), and Alien. And there's one particular plot twist, which I'm not going to give away, that I saw coming from a mile off and which I was really disappointed they used.
When I came out of the screening room, Gia asked me what I thought, and I couldn't answer her right away. Sunshine, even with its slightly predictable plot, is a breathtaking movie. It honestly stunned me into silence, and I had to have myself a little quiet moment and a think and a sip or two of wine before I could start to speak coherently again. You see, Boyle lulls you into a false sense of security through the first act, but once the first turning point is reached, he never lets up, building the tension all the way through until the climax comes and when it does you're left feeling winded, all the air knocked out of you.
I said to Gia on Friday that Sunshine wasn't a film that I'd want to go back and see again, but now a little time has passed and I've had the chance to reflect, I can't wait for it to open in the cinema so I can go back and watch it a second time round. Films like this I tend to get more out of on a second viewing, because I know what's coming so I can enjoy myself instead of hide under my jacket.
So, go see Sunshine. It's just like The Weather Project on steroids.

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The health kick begins

by Suw on March 8, 2007

I've never really been one for diets. Whilst, in many other ways, I could be described as a stubborn bitch, I lack the kind of will power that's required for dieting. There's a reason my personal blog is called Chocolate and Vodka, and it's got nothing to do with those words sounding nice.
But let's be honest. Contentment has taken it's toll, and I've spread out a bit in the middle. Mum'll laugh when she reads this as she's always insisted that 'middle-aged spread' was just a fact of life, whilst I've been busy insisting that it's a matter of stuffing your face less with chocolate and getting more exercise. Boot's on the other foot now, sadly, and it's time to do something about it.
Questions is, what?
I had a feeling towards the end of last year that I was acquiring more inches than strictly required, which was why I gave up sugary drinks for more than three months. Well, you can see my logic, right? All that sugar in all those cans of Coke has to go somewhere and it's not Marbella. Cutting it out would decrease my daily calorie intake and I'd maybe lose a bit of weight without really having to try too hard – wouldn't that be just peachy? Except, well, as you know,
it didn't work. I just ate more chocolate instead.
Now, the equation I have to solve is pretty simple really – I need to consume fewer calories than I burn. And there are two tactics for achieving that: 1) consume fewer calories; 2) burn more. Easy.
But it'll be a severely cold day with a windchill factor of minus lots of degrees and a high risk of snow in hell before I start counting calories. I don't know how many calories are in different foods, and I'm just not interested in finding out. I'm certainly not interested in weighing out portions and sitting with a calculator trying to figure out if I'm up to some stupid allowance yet.
Instead, I'm trying out one thing that's just really simple, and something else that I'm in two minds about. Firstly, I'm trying to eat a lot more fruit and veg. Yup, it's that complicated. I'm going to try and eat a banana, a grapefruit, a clementine and an apple a day, with a salad, plus any vegetables that I have with dinner. I'm not going to cut out carbs or meat, so not going Atkins or vegan. Just trying to increase the percentage of my calories that I get from fruit and vegetables.
The second thing I'm doing is the Shangri-la diet, which attempts to reset the weight your body 'wants' to be so that you don't feel so hungry. The idea is that the body associates taste with calories and the tastier the food the more calories you crave so the more you eat. If you can dissociate taste and calories, say by taking a dose of 200 tasteless calories, with nothing tasty for an hour before and after, your body will start to feel less hungry. Or something like that.
Hunger is, actually, a bit of an issue. I never really used to be all that interested in food, never used to be a foodie, but Kevin's pretty good in the kitchen and he cooks up some really yummy food. So I eat more of it, and I'm used to eating more of it, so I get hungry when I don't.
There. It's all Kevin's fault. That makes it easier.
So I'm trying this Shangri-La diet to see if I can't just stop feeling so hungry. I don't know how much faith I have in it, but it's worked for my friend Kevin, (note: that's my friend Kevin, not my fianc?© Kevin), so maybe it can work for me.
But that's only half the story. The other part of the equation is the exercise. I used to be quite good at doing Pilates every other day or so, and trying to keep vaguely in trim, but it's difficult to get back into it. I was just starting to hit a rhythm again before I had the
operations on my arm and I had to stop. The wound has healed now, but I can't do anything strenuous with my arm for quite a while longer – not because it hurts so much now but because the 4 cm scar will widen and look crap. So I've put together a routine which avoids excessive use of my arms, and on Sunday I did my first half hour work out.
But I fear that Pilates alone isn't going to be enough. Oh no. I fear that something a bit more vigourous is going to be needed. Something involving… oh god… gyms.
And now, out with our dirty little secret. There's a gym about 100 yards away from this flat. We've been living here for a year. Ever since we moved in, we've been saying “Oh, we really must go to the gym. It's not expensive, and it's right there. We'll get an induction session booked in for next week.”
I don't think you need me to tell you how may times we've been.
But next week – by the gods and the little fishes I promise – next week we are going to go and book an induction appointment. Next week we are going to pay up our membership and we're going to start going to the gym. Next week. We are.
Honest.
I have my eye on the bikes. That's what I want to do. I can't run, as I have two rather prominent impediments which tend to get in the way of such activities. But I can sit on a bike for half an hour listening to podcasts. Actually,
This American Life is an hour long – even better!
So that's the plan. The plan is helped by the fact that I have a very clear idea of how I want to look in a year's time, but hindered by the fact that I am, at heart, a lazy old moo who likes her crepes on a Sunday morning. So I foresee an interesting ongoing struggle between old, bad habits and new, difficult ones. At least now I have a good motivation.

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Shorn of the Dead

by Suw on March 5, 2007

The trailer for Black Sheep is disturbing on so very many levels… but yet I can't wait to see it. Should I worry what that says about me?
(Thanks for the heads-up, Dan.)

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Wedding Dress Industrial Complex

by Suw on March 4, 2007

A couple of weeks after we got engaged, Kevin wrote a post about the 'wedding-industrial complex' – the commercialisation of weddings. Yesterday, I discovered the 'wedding dress industrial complex'.
My friend Kate came up to London, and I met her in Victoria armed with a list of bridal wear boutiques and stores, ready to try on some dresses. I have to admit, I'd had nightmares about this all last week. In one, it's the day before a 'party' and I still have no dress and I'm desperately trying to find a dressmaking pattern and some fabric in a dingy haberdashery. In another, I'm trying to find information about suit hire for Kevin. In another, none of the stores we visit will let me try on any dresses… oh, wait, that was reality.
For the sake of context, I have to explain that I don't like buying clothes. Kate usually has to accompany me: At the beginning of the day I explain to her what I need to walk away with at the end. She then forces me to shop until I've located everything I need, using the 'frog march' technique if required. I really do not like shopping – I find it demoralising, depressing, frustrating and too expensive. Partly I think this is because I'm very much a non-standard body shape, so nothing ever fits. Particularly dresses. I actually gave up trying to buy dresses about a decade ago, when I came to the conclusion that anything that fits over my bust is going to be like a sack over the rest of me, and anything that fits my hips and waist is not going to do up higher up. I have the same problem with blouses, actually, but the sack effect isn't usually quite so pronounced.
So I can't say that I was looking forward to yesterday's expedition. Luckily, Kate and I dined at Wagamama's ahead of venturing forth to the shops, so I managed to fortify myself with a large bottle hot sake. We had a fairly easy beginning – the two boutiques we sought out in Victoria were shut and 'by appointment only', and full of what looked like expensive wankery. One was full of 20s/30s style dresses, designed for stick insects with no bosom. Pretty easy to rule that out.
We then went up to Oxford Street as there are a whole number of places round there. I was curious to see what BHS offered, just on the off chance they might have something cheap but stylish which I could then spruce up myself (I'm a dab hand with a needle, as it happens). But the choice was limited and the designs pretty rank.
Then House of Fraser's 'Bridal Room' or whatever it was called. Racks of dresses, and lots of young brides-to-be squeezed into frocks that would make them look like every other bride there's ever been. An assistant came over and informed that we'd need an appointment, but that we could look if we liked. Gee, thanks.
It seems that there's some sort of secret bride club that I didn't previous know about that has its own etiquette and secret handshake that you have to just know. The assistants were immaculately dressed and aloof as you like. If you're name's not on the list, you're not getting in (to the fitting rooms). Whilst I had the assistant's attention, though, I asked how long it takes to get a dress made, and was informed that it would be about nine months, so I'm in time for the February wedding we've now settled on.
Nine months? What the fuck are they doing? Hand selecting the moths that will lay the eggs that will hatch the silkworms that will spin my very own personalised silk that will be hand woven into fabric to be hand dyed with specially selected yak spit and rare Mongolian orchid seeds? Given the price of some of the gowns there, though, I'd expect nothing less.
Kate and I had a look round anyway. We discounted an entire rail of 20s/30s dresses, designed again for the mythical Woman With No Breasts that so obsesses designers but which you'll rarely see walking down the high street. Most of the other dresses had the sort of high waist that makes me look as if I'm a galleon in full sail. Maybe it was just because we only saw them hanging on the rail, but they all sorta looked the same. I didn't see a single one that cried out to me 'You must wear me!'.
Meanwhile, in the centre of the room were a couple of girls being fussed over by mothers and friends and assistants, trying to shoehorn them into dresses that looked to be several sizes too small. There was precisely nothing notable about either of them, and I felt totally removed from that process, from the … bride-ish-ness of it all. In fact, I felt so disconnected from it that I even walked out without looking at the tiaras, which frankly is unheard of. I love my sparkly baubles, I do.
We then went to Pronovia, who gave us possibly the most polite 'fuck off' I've ever had, plus a big – as in A3 – glossy brochure full of waifs pouting in white. Can't imagine I'll ever go back there, frankly. Haven't seen a thing in the brochure that entices me and, whilst the assistant was perfectly nice and polite, the atmosphere there was 180 degrees away from welcoming.
On then, wearily, to Berketex. I was expecting the same from them, too, by this point, but the assistant that spoke to us was actually friendly! Wow! She invited us to look at the dresses and there was actual, real human warmth in her voice. Most unexpected. Again, though, most of the dresses conformed to the same wedding standard, but I did see a couple that I would have liked to have tried on. I can't, however, see me being able to afford any of them, but if there's a shop I've been to so far that I would go back to, it would be Berketex.
Thence on to Selfridges. Their collection was in the basement, and they had possibly the least welcoming set-up of all of them which screamed 'You can't afford us so fuck right off'. At this point, my main need was to get to a pub where there was alcohol for sale, because I think if one more assistant had asked us to make an appointment I think I would have punched her.
Now, it's true to say that I've never been much of a 'joiner', but this sort of Cult of Smug Bridezillas is one I just want nothing to do with. I don't want to be fussed over by snooty assistants who look down their nose at you cos your budget's not high enough. Jeeze, some of those dresses cost the same amount as our entire wedding will cost.
And they all look the same. There were very few dresses worth a second look, and many of them are probably going to be way too expensive. In fact, the starting price for most of these dresses is £obscene. It's a dress you're going to wear once in your life, and whilst I appreciate that some girls want to do the whole fairytale princess thing, there are no alternatives for those of us who want to look nice, but don't want to have a hock a kidney in order to do so.
Of course, I could try traipsing round second hand shops, or look on eBay, but there's going to be a fundamental problem with that. The dresses are highly unlikely to fit me. I could, I suppose, go for one of these Chinese or Vietnamese tailors that will make you a dress to fit, but I'm uncomfortable with buying a dress that I'm not going to get to try on first.
So, what next? I suppose I will go back to Berketex, just to try a few things on and to try and understand what it is about these dresses that I don't like, and what are the details about the ones that are OK that distinguish them from the anonymous swathes of fabric hanging beside them.
Though there was one shop that piqued my curiosity on the way home last night. It's just round the corner from where I live and in the window they had an Edwardian-style jacket and skirt with matching parasol. Behind the shutters that they were closing I could just glimpse an unusual-looking wedding dress. I think I might just have to pop round there tomorrow and see what that's all about.
But I have to admit that I'm seriously considering instead hiring a dress from a historical costumier instead. Be much cheaper. I could get a nice medieval gown for £150.

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Eclipse

March 3, 2007

Just sitting watching the lunar eclipse. I don't think I've seen a full lunar eclipse on a night as clear as this before in my life. Such a shame that I'm in the middle of London where the light pollution is dreadful. It really is quite beautiful, though – all red and dramatic and portent-y. […]

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The podcast that still doesn't have a name, part 2

March 1, 2007

It's been a while since our last podcast, but here's the latest episode from Steph and me. Thanks to Steph for the shownotes and links. Let us know if you enjoy it! conferences: LIFT and Freedom of Expression not everybody has the internet – other cultures use mobile phones (e.g. Nigeria) technology overload at LIFT […]

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