Sunday, April 24, 2005

Regular readers will know that I don't often have a stab at particular companies or products, but I am driven to tell you that the Zanussi Electrolux Timeline ZSF 6160 is the biggest heap of rancid dingo shit I have ever had the misfortune to have to deal with.
My parents got a new dishwasher recently after the old one gave up the ghost. They did whatever anyone would do – they went to a shop, had a look at various anonymous white boxes, and made a choice. How were they to know what a steaming pile of crap it would be? Sure, the settings are great. Yah, wonderful. Economy. Well done. But you try actually filling the fucking thing with the results of a very nice Sunday roast, and frankly, you'd be cursing the stupid thing too.
Like most dishwashers, it has two trays. Top for glasses and small crockery, bottom one for all the big stuff. But the thing is, you try to put a glass in the top tray but there are no flat surfaces. It falls over. Put a bowl in, and the same thing happens. There are removable racks from which you can hang your glasses, but firstly they waste space, and secondly, the glasses don't fit.
The bottom tray has the cutlery basket in, but two thirds of our cutlery doesn't fit through the holes in the top. Only knives fit. Then you put plates in. But the prongs which hold the plates upright just don't. The plates fall against each other. You can't get a decent number of pans in either, and the prongs which hold them up just fall over at the slightest whim.
This dishwasher – the Zanussi Electrolux Timeline ZSF 6160, in case you missed it – was obviously designed by an idiot with shit for brains who had never done a stroke of washing up in his life (and I'm betting it is a 'he'). Patently the trays were designed by some tosswit who never thought to actually try to put a full load of real crockery in. I'm sure it all looked pretty in his nice designs, but you get it in a real kitchen, after real people have eaten real food on real crockery, and it fails miserably on all counts. It is, without doubt, complete shit and not worth tuppence.
But the question is, how would you know? When you are out buying a new dishwasher, you tend not to take a large box of crockery, pots and pans so you can try it out, but without doing that, how would you know it was crap? And, of course, my parents are far too nice to take it back from the small village shop from which they bought it.
So, if you're in the market for a dishwasher, avoid the Zanussi Electrolux Timeline ZSF 6160. It's a waste of money.

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