I give up on deep and meaningful posts

by Suw on May 9, 2003

I don?t know whether it?s something to do with Mercury being retrograde at the moment. Or maybe the internet?s feng shui is bad – possibly someone put an NT server in the communications corner and screwed it up. Perhaps it?s that I haven?t performed the correct ritual sacrifice of a sweet, innocent virgin cable modem recently. But whenever I have come to write my blog recently, I seem to have been incapable of actually finishing any thoughts.

I have lots of them when I'm busy doing other stuff, but when I sit down to write something, they all scarper like fleet-footed thieves through the alleyways of Manchester that the city council so desperately want to close off.

I still don't understand why the ramblers are so against the gating of these dark, dingy, litter-strewn passageways that lead to precisely nowhere that the road wouldn't also take you if you walked just that little bit further. It's hardly a right of way issue, and much more of a cutting down on people's houses getting broken into from the back by a surreptitious beshellsuited tosser with a ladder issue.

I remember reading once that your iq increases if you stand on one foot. There's something about the way your brain reacts to balancing that seems to wake up your synapses and makes them work more efficiently. (Frankly, in my case, if they worked at all it would be a miracle.)

When I found out about this, I wondered if this was why I am always more creative when I'm walking. On any random stroll to Tescos up the river I will likely have more coherent thoughts than I would spending double the amount of time sitting here staring at this monitor. I have, therefore, been considering for some time now the idea of rigging up a computer in front of a treadmill so that I can both be more creative and get more exercise. Two birds, one stone – genius.

I know I've mentioned this before on this blog, but I am also far more creative shortly after I've gone to bed. You know that time, in between your head hitting the pillow and you actually falling asleep, that's when I have my ideas. I'm not sure if it's something to do with the way your brain starts to prepare for entry into the hypnogogic state which presages sleep that it naturally kinda kicks into imaginative mode.

I'm forever having thoughts, then having to turn the light on and write them down before they escape me. How much better would it be if there was some way to capture that more efficiently. I considered rigging up a wee little laptop or palmtop with a keyboard on a swivelling tilting platform thingie so that I could just kinda pull it down, type stuff in, and push it back out the way again, thus saving the need to actually either a) turn the light on or b) wake up.

I have long since learnt to get up to let the cat in at 2am without appreciably waking up so if I could only learn to write in my sleep then my novel would get done an awful lot faster. (Mind you, ?faster? would not be difficult to achieve, since my current output on that front has been a big fat zilch recently. Stress and having your own business are real killers insofar as novels go.)

Yes, so here I am again, towards the end of an entry, desperately searching for some sort of conclusion to wrap things up with and so very definitely not finding one. Maybe it?s the scientist in me that insists on having some nice, tidy end to everything I ever write, something to just round it all off. Something that will stick in your mind, as reader, and make you feel that this was a blog well blogged.

Ah fuck it. I?m off to watch Buffy.

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