Growing up, I used to frequently be mistaken for my Mum when I answered the phone. The women who attended my mum's exercise classes would call and as soon as they heard my voice would launch into long and detailed explanations of precisely what had happened to Doris and why she wouldn't be attending this evening. Usually they would pause for breath at some point and I would get the chance to say “I'll just go and get Mum”.
Since then, things haven't got noticeably better.
Sky are the worst. I haven't had an account with Sky for years, yet somehow they keep stalking me, thinking I am my Mum. They first mixed us up when I was living in Reading. For reasons unclear, they thought I was her, and kept addressing things to her at my address. But then I stopped living in Reading, and stopped using Sky, and for a while my address was my parents' address, and I didn't hear from them again.
Today, however, I had junk mail through the door addressed to my Mum. How the hell do they know I am here? And why do they still think I am her? I've never told them I moved. She's never told them I moved. I stopped having anything to do with them years ago. Yet they are convinced I am her, and somehow their evil little tracking ninja spies have followed me here and now I'm getting her junk mail. Not that I'd wish it on her, mind you, but it does make me wonder.
How do they know that the person they think is my Mum is here? Who sold them the data? I haven't actually moved any of my mail from Dorset to London, for various admin reasons it's better to keep it all going there, so it's got to be one of the utility companies, the scumbags. Although that doesn't make sense either as I'm down as me on all the bills…
Or have they implanted an RFID chip in me and I just don't know it?
How do they know?
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I have much the same problem; my dad and I sound very much alike, so much so that even my mother has trouble telling us apart some times, even in person. Add to that the fact that we have the same name. And then consider that my wife and I bought my parents' house three years ago, and that since my dad and I have the same name, we couldn't tell the post office to officially forward his mail to their new address.
I regularly carry to the dump for recycling huge piles of trade magazines for industrial managers, sales pitches for Medicare supplemental insurance, and urgent pleas to switch a mortgage that was paid off three years ago to a new company. Sigh…. At least the pile is getting smaller; once or twice a month, I get a phone call from one of those trade magazines or another looking for my father; I always tell them that he's moved and is out of business and could they please stop sending their missives about pipe assembly and chemical removal and the like.
It is all a conspiracy.
“The Dentists” are part of it. They implanted the RFID when they looked at your wisdom tooth and now “they” know where you are at all times!
Arrgh!
runs to the hills
What the hell is Sky?
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