The list gets ever longer

by Suw on August 13, 2003

Things I should have done today but didn’t:

1. Write a letter
2. Reply to several emails (sorry if you’re someone I owe a reply to)
3. Rewrite my business plan and cashflow
4. Apply for a handful of jobs I found online yesterday
5. Look for more jobs online today
6. Put my CV online in case any jobs come up tomorrow
7. Send my CV to various and assorted employment agencies
8. Sort out the papers on my desk, on the table next to my desk, on the floor next to the table next to my desk, and in front of the tv
9. Send out the answers to the last worksheet (oh, wait, I can do that one now, it’s easy!)
10. Get my CD drive to work properly
11. Install the proper drivers for the chipset on this new motherboard
12. Make sure the zip drive is actually functioning
13. Plug in all my peripherals that currently remain unplugged
14. Write a postcard to someone I owe a postcard to
15. Design the HTML shell for the CD of Welsh worksheets I’m going to sell in the GF shop
16. Put together a design for a limited edition CMC t-shirt
17. Start on the next, long overdue update of the CMC web site
18. Start preparing to pack my earthly belongings away by starting throwing crap out (and you have absolutely no idea how much crap I have here)
19. Clean the damn kitchen
20. Pay bills
21. Buy some bloody cough medicine that works
22. Edit up someone’s script that I promised to edit up.

Things I did instead:

1. Lurked on Zoetrope
2. Chatted on Zoetrope
3. Replied to a few emails
4. Went to the Co-Op and the pharmacist
5. Lurked on Zoetrope
6. Chatted on Zoetrope
7. Checked my read-count on Zoetrope (8 downloads since this morning. Not bad!)
8. Faffed
9. Watched M*A*S*H
10. Faffed some more
11. Talked to my parents on the phone
12. Fannied about
13. Did some laundry
14. Read some blogs
15. Wrote my blog
16. Lurked on Zoetrope some more

I don’t know what’s happened to my motivation. A few months ago I was all eager beaver every morning, getting up, doing my Pilates, ready and raring to go by 9am every morning. Now I don’t even have the alarm clock on, haven’t done any Pilates for weeks, and frankly feel like curling up in a small ball and hiding under the sofa with the dust bunnies for the rest of my natural life.

I’ve been persuaded to go back to Dorset tomorrow, partly to see the Bank Manager and discuss what the hell’s going on with the business (oh, joy, I really look forward to that one), partly to be present at a family party on Saturday (oh, joy, I get to make potato salad, I really look forward to that one) and partly to recuperate from this lurgey that’s had me in its grip for the last week and a half (actually, I do look forward to that one).

Part of me wants to go – Fflwff’s still down in Dorset and I do miss her horribly. Every day I look round to see what she’s up to and she’s not here to be up to anything. Seems silly to bring her back here, though, when I’d only have to move her again in three weeks time. The rest of me just wants to stay here and continue to fail to get on with stuff.

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