http://chocolateandvodka.com/2009/03/17/revised-opening-scene/ bubbling enthusiasm for $arbitrary_topic Tue, 01 May 2012 11:18:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 http://chocolateandvodka.com/2009/03/17/revised-opening-scene/comment-page-1/#comment-31105 Eigon Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:31:03 +0000 http://chocolateandvodka.com/2009/03/17/revised-opening-scene/#comment-31105 Ah, you've been to the Honesty Gardens, I see. My first job when I came to live in Hay was to keep the Honesty shelves stocked. Ah, you’ve been to the Honesty Gardens, I see.
My first job when I came to live in Hay was to keep the Honesty shelves stocked.

]]> http://chocolateandvodka.com/2009/03/17/revised-opening-scene/comment-page-1/#comment-28194 Suw Wed, 18 Mar 2009 09:19:24 +0000 http://chocolateandvodka.com/2009/03/17/revised-opening-scene/#comment-28194 I see your point about having a dramatic hook into the action, but I'll have to think about what that might be in relationship to the other stuff that happens. I'll flag this up as a "thing to come back to when all the other things are done" thing. I always find myself doing the intro last. ;) I see your point about having a dramatic hook into the action, but I’ll have to think about what that might be in relationship to the other stuff that happens. I’ll flag this up as a “thing to come back to when all the other things are done” thing. I always find myself doing the intro last.

]]> http://chocolateandvodka.com/2009/03/17/revised-opening-scene/comment-page-1/#comment-28186 Vincent Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:20:48 +0000 http://chocolateandvodka.com/2009/03/17/revised-opening-scene/#comment-28186 While I don't think breaking a few rules is necessarily a bad thing, after reading through it again, that opening paragraph is doing a lot of scene-setting without giving the reader any dramatic hook into the action. So, as a suggestion to mull over, how about have this opening scene as one that's alluded to in the exposition: Ernest trying to erect a shelter for the books and then being told off by Griffith Lloyd. You can still have the rain, still have the description of the castle, but if you start in the middle of the telling off, you're dropping the reader into a nice bit of conflict and also showing the reader why the books are exposed and neglected, rather than having to tell them. While I don’t think breaking a few rules is necessarily a bad thing, after reading through it again, that opening paragraph is doing a lot of scene-setting without giving the reader any dramatic hook into the action. So, as a suggestion to mull over, how about have this opening scene as one that’s alluded to in the exposition: Ernest trying to erect a shelter for the books and then being told off by Griffith Lloyd. You can still have the rain, still have the description of the castle, but if you start in the middle of the telling off, you’re dropping the reader into a nice bit of conflict and also showing the reader why the books are exposed and neglected, rather than having to tell them.

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